Financial advisors can often find themselves in a therapist’s role with clients, but Knox says divorcing clients often require even more patience and empathy. “They all come to you when they’re in pain, so the most important thing is establishing trust and acknowledging what they are feeling,” she says. “You want to have them focus on 12 or 18 months down the road, when they won’t feel this way. And I tell them, ‘I know, because I’ve done this with clients hundreds of times. We will get you there.’
Clients are often in fragile states when they seek her help, Knox adds, and it’s not enough to lay out financial advice in black-and-white terms. “Clients often feel betrayed by the ones they trusted the most,” she says. “They may not appreciate being told what to do, even if it makes sense for their interests.”
Knox says she uses a technique called appreciative inquiry to help guide client conversations, especially at the start of the relationship. This form of communication emphasizes “positive” idea generation over “negative” problem identification.
“I ask questions in a way that they arrive at the answer for themselves. If you tell them what to do, they may believe you, but they won’t care,” she says. “But if you ask a different way, like, ‘What will happen if you spend your money on this? And then when the time comes, you have to sacrifice this? Will there be regret?’ Let them answer it. And then they also feel in control.”
Establishing trust can be especially important, since even simpler, no-fault divorces can take as long as 18 months to complete. As the process unfolds, you can help clients evaluate the resources they will need to fund their post-divorce life. Many advisors use wealth strategy analyses to show how different sets of client assets may grow over time and across economic cycles.
“You want to help clients understand their financial picture more clearly, so that they’re being set up for success after a divorce,” says Leah Ryan, advisor practice management consultant at Capital Group. “The family law attorneys sometimes do not zero in on aspects such as tax repercussions or liquidity of assets and this could be detrimental to the client’s financial future.”