To help improve client outcomes, financial professionals often need tools to help influence positive change in clients’ financial behaviors and decisions. Peter Bregman’s book, You Can Change Other People, offers some useful insights for your practice. Bregman, a renowned executive coach and consultant, provides a pragmatic approach to fostering change in others, which is particularly relevant for professionals guiding clients through complex financial decisions.

Bregman’s central thesis is that to change other people’s behavior effectively, you have to abandon the notion of direct control. Instead, he advocates for a collaborative approach where you act as a partner in the change process. These four steps summarize Bregman’s recommendations for facilitating change.

1. Shift from criticism to curiosity

Instead of questioning why a client spends excessively, you might ask:

“What goals are you hoping to achieve with your current spending habits?” 

If you think your client is worried about taxes or could benefit from a solution that offers guaranteed income, you could ask:

“What are you most worried about when it comes to your finances?”

Or, if you’re working with a business owner who is considering setting up a retirement plan, but hasn’t yet, you could ask:

“What are some of the reasons you might want to set up a retirement plan for your employees?” 

Bregman writes, “People don’t resist change – they resist being changed.” So, a good phrase to adopt for your next client conversation might be:

“Would you like to think this through together?”

2. Engage as an ally

When you ask, “Would you like to think this through together?” you are positioning yourself as an ally rather than an authoritative figure. This helps foster trust and creates a supportive environment where clients feel safe to explore new ideas and strategies.

You can help assure your client they are not alone in their fears by saying:

“This is something I struggle with, too.”

Demonstrating empathy and understanding can significantly enhance the quality of your relationships with your clients.

3. Get clear on the desired outcome

Before giving advice or proposing solutions, it’s important to ensure that there is mutual agreement on the nature of the problem. Bregman writes, “Often when someone complains about a situation, they haven’t thought about what they would prefer instead. By focusing on what they don’t want, they’re distracting themselves from the possibility of imagining and going for what they do want.”

You can flip your client’s perspective from focusing on the problem to getting clear on the desired outcome by asking:

“What is the outcome you want?”

Then help to ensure the outcome is something they’re truly excited about.

To get more clarity, you can ask:

“What would this outcome allow you to do?”

The more excited your client can become about the outcome, the more likely they are to change their behavior.

4. Facilitate discovery of solutions

Encourage clients to take ownership of their financial decisions by guiding them to discover solutions themselves and choose their way forward. To help them identify the next step they are willing to take, you can ask:

“What might you try to achieve this outcome?”

Empowering clients to identify an energizing outcome will help them determine the next step they are willing to take.

Empathy and collaboration are critical in helping clients take action. By focusing on partnership, curiosity and empowerment, you can help clients achieve their desired outcomes and build stronger, more trusting relationships. 

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